Coaches Know When Your Parents Are Doing Your Recruiting

A couple weeks ago we posted a tweet that said something like: parents cannot do your recruiting. Coaches know. And it's killing you.

It got more engagement than anything we've put out in a while. Reposts from college coaches. Replies from parents asking what they're supposed to do then.

That tells me there's a real problem here.

**A spreadsheet is not recruiting.**

I was talking to a parent recently who told me she built a spreadsheet for her son. It tracked every coach he emailed, every response, who was interested, who wasn't. That's a great way to help. Organization matters.

But parents can only be so much of a resource. The coach is not recruiting the parent. The coach is recruiting the athlete.

**Your parents are biased. That's not an insult.**

Parents love their children. They are going to oversell you. They're going to believe in you past the point you're actually capable of. That's a good thing in a lot of ways. Better to set expectations high than low.

But if you don't have a realistic understanding of your skill level and where you can play, you're going to be less successful in the recruiting process. You might not find the right fit. And we've talked about what happens when you end up at the wrong school: you're unhappy during some of the best years of your life.

**The words going out to coaches need to be YOUR words.**

Parents can help with organization. They can help with motivation. They can help with belief and support. But when it comes to the actual product, what's being sent to coaches, that has to come from the player.

Your son has to pick up the phone and call the coach. Your son has to write the email. Your son has to be the one in the video.

Coaches can tell when parents are doing the work. THEY CAN TELL.

**What coaches are actually evaluating.**

A coach might say they look for guys who come from a good home. And sure, it probably helps that your parents are nice people. But that's not what gets you recruited.

What gets you recruited is your athletic ability. Your character. Your mettle. What you're made of. What you can become. How hard you work.

The parent is not the product. The player is.

If you're letting your mom or dad run the show, you're giving coaches a reason to move on. They want to see what the recruit is made of. They want to know the player can handle the communication, the pressure, the grind of the process itself.

That's the audition. Not just your swing or your arm. Your ownership.

So be the one sending the emails, making the calls, and knowing exactly where you stand and what you're working toward.

That's what gets you recruited.